Back to Xenogears:  God and Mind


Above Mahanon
By Lord Sauron

Presented by: Xenogears: God and Mind

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Xenogears and its characters and plot belong to Squaresoft. The Script’s from xgam

A/N: I’m not too good at writing romance. Takes place during the game, before the party goes to Mahanon.


Fei’s POV

     “Hammer!!!” The Anima cave had been a dark mission for our party. We couldn’t take this any more. Elly, hated herself for not being able to do something for Hammer. I tried to give her my condolences, and deep down I blamed myself. Elly, she had been through so much. Both her parents were murdered right in front of her eyes, Id…no I destroyed her country, she gets shot down along with me, now she has to take care of the mutating and mutated people in Nissan. I was not going to let her fight anymore. I couldn’t bear to see her like this.

Normal POV

A day later


     As soon as the party arrived back in the Yggdrasil, Sigurd and Maison were there to greet them, both with expressions of utmost fear. “Hyuga,” said the sliver haired first mate, “Something huge, has risen from the ocean and it hovering over it.” “We know.” said Bart. “What the hell is that thing?” Citan went into his thinking mode. They did see something rise from the ocean and back in Ignas, people who had not been mutated were turning into Wels. Strange and terrible things have been happening since Rico aligned with his Anima Relic. “To the Gunroom.” said the doctor.

     Fei, Citan, Bart, Elly, Billy, Rico, Maria, Emeralda, ChuChu, and Margie were sitting at the long table. The Gunroom was actually a luxurious dining room fit for a king, as Bart was captain of the Yggdrasil and king of Aveh. It also had a bar. Citan spoke first. “Mahanon has risen from its watery grave! It is said to be the resting place of god. This could only mean one thing. The Gazel Ministry has activated the Gaetia Key. His majesty has been assassinated.” There was a muttering of panic. Citan then continued, “Kahr must have done it on Krelian’s orders. The wisdom of god is within Mahanon. Krelian is going to send a massive force knowing him. If Krelian and the Ministry get their hands on the wisdom of god, our world will be destroyed.” Fei then got up from his seat at the head of the table. “Then we must stop them,” he said curtly, “I am not going to just sit here and watch the end of the world. We must go in there and get the wisdom of god before the enemy does! If we meet the enemy we will have to eliminate them. Bart, Citan, and I will go find where the wisdom of god is stored. Rico, Billy, Emeralda, Maria, and ChuChu will hold off the enemy. We head out tomorrow morning.” Elly, who didn’t say anything for a while, finally spoke. “Where do I come in?” asked Elly curiously. Fei turned to her, looked into her stunning blue eyes and said, “You’re not coming on this mission.”

     Elly looked as though she couldn’t believe what she just heard. She got up from her seat and exclaimed, “Wait a minute! You want me to stay here? No, I’m going with you!” Fei shook his head. “No, it’s too dangerous.” he said shortly. “Why? I’ve been in many dangerous situations before. This isn’t the first time!” Did she not understand what would happen in the upcoming battle? Fei shook his head and turned around. “I said NO!” he snapped, “We can’t take you. Please understand!” “No, I want to go!” Elly argued. She then folded her arms and protested, “We have been fighting together all this time, and suddenly you’re telling me not to go?! I just don’t get it.” Fei turned to Elly, his dark eyes flashing. “This isn’t like any other fight!” said Fei very angrily, “It’s a battle for the wisdom created by god. It’s life or death. Whoever controls it becomes the true dominator of the world! It’s obvious the Ministry will send its strongest possible troops. There is no guarantee you’ll come back alive.” Elly walked up to him. “That is exactly why I want to go.” she said quietly. Fei sighed and extend his arms saying, “You don’t have the slightest idea.” What don’t I understand?” retorted Elly. “If the enemy were only the Ministry or just mechanical weapons it would be okay. But most the enemies will be made up of what were once humans…” explained Fei, “Humans like you and I!” Elly gasped at Fei’s words. Fei walked closer to Elly and placed his arm on her shoulder. “I saw them at those facilities,” he said, “Gears that here made out of humans,” he paused for a moment then continued, “They were the same as Hammer… could you know destroy then knowing this?! In order to save ourselves, can you truly say that you could kill those who were once your friends?! So, do you still want go now?!” asked Fei harshly. Elly backed away slowly, looking rather frightened. “W, well” stammered Elly. Fei turned around and looked down. “”You can’t even kill one person,” he said coldly, “Your presence will be a burden in the fight.” Elly put her hands over her mouth. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You’d just get in the way…” Elly’s lower lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears. She immediately turned around and fled from the Gunroom. A door was heard opening and then closing. She must have gone to her room. ‘Why did I have to say that to her?’

     Fei only now noticed that all his friends’ eyes were on him. “Hey Fei! Don’t you think you went a little too far there?” inquired Bart in a rare calm tone. “We cannot blame her. At least we should try to understand her feelings,” said Citan. Fei gave him a look that said, “Not you too.” Citan gave him back a look that said, “Oh yes, me too.” Fei turned to Bart and said, “I know how Elly feels. I know she wouldn’t have listened to me if I had just said, ‘You’re not coming!’ seeing as she has worked together with us for such a long time and all. That’s why I had to explain it to her like that.” he then turned to Citan. “The people gathered in Nissan need Elly. She’s got to realise how much people are depending on her. I can’t put her in a dangerous situation…” Citan looked up and the Great Mother of Nissan too a step towards Fei. “But the way you said it was harsh.” said Margie as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You didn’t have to be so cold,” said Billy coldly, “”She was crying, you know?” “But…” Citan shook his head and cut Fei off. “I’m sure she realises that.” Bart nodded and stated, “I agree. Maybe you are the one who doesn‘t understand.” Fei clasped his left wrist with his right hand. “Me? I don’t understand?” asked Fei totally not understanding what the king was talking about. “A lady’s… heart…?” said an annoyed Margie. “She wants to go… to be with you Fei, until the very end.” said Billy. “Yeah,” Margie added. Bart jumped on the table and folded his arms. “If I were you…I’d hold her tightly and say… “Let’s go together…just like that.” Margie smiled up at him. “Really?” she asked. “Uh…no…I mean…errr…” “Young Master,” called Maison from his bar, “Don’t overdo yourself now.” Bart turned to him. “Ah, shut up!” He then turned back to Fei. “Anyhow, why don’t you go ask her to come with you? Whether she’ll go with you or not, you should express your feelings in words. If you really love her, you have to go tell her.” “Express your feelings… right?” added Citan. Fei extend his arm urgently. “I, I didn’t mean-” Fei was cut off by the young king. “Too late now! Everyone knows it.” “You’re not being true to yourself are you Fei?” asked Citan, his dark eyes twinkling behind his spectacles. “I agree.” piped up Margie. “Fei…say it… straight out…” said Emeralda. ‘They’re right. I do love her. I love her more than any human has ever loved anyone before.’ Fei thought to himself. “Go ahead…” urged Margie, “Go chase after her! What are you waiting for?” With that, Fei left the Gunroom, walked down the spiral staircase and stopped for a moment at the door to Elly’s room. Fei breathed slowly, opened the door, went in, and closed it.

     The room was dark. Elly was facing a wall. The moonlight reflected in her beautiful dark auburn hair that cascaded down to her waist like a red waterfall. Her head was bent and she was crying, because of Fei‘s harsh words. His heart broke to see her like this. She must have hated him now. “Ah…sorry about what just happened… Forgive me…” Fei said nervously. “But I want to explain. Now for the fist time people, on both earth and Solaris, are becoming one. But then, not all of them are strong like the crew of this ship, or the people in Shevat. Even we lose sight of our future at times… so you can imagine what regular people go through. That’s why people need someone like you to depend on… as a light to guide us. You have freed the hearts of the people used as tools by that Ministry for hundreds of years. Elly, it was you! And now your body doesn’t just belong to you alone anymore. That’s why I don’t want you to be in danger. And that’s why I don’t want you to fight anymore.” ‘Tell her you fool!’ said a voice in Fei’s head.

     Elly stopped crying and ask in just above a whisper, “… It’s funny isn’t it?” Fei stood there dumbfounded. “Huh?” Elly raised her head but did not turn around. Fei’s heart sank. “We used to be enemies, but now we’re together like this…” She paused for a moment and then continued. “In the beginning… I think I saw myself in you. We seemed to over lap… You being in the same situation I was in. When I was with you, I didn’t feel alone or apprehensive. That’s why I thought I liked you… but it wasn’t that. I simply didn’t have the courage to look at my true self. I turned to you to run away from it all… I mistook that for love.”

     She then turned around. Her enchantingly beautiful dark blue eyes were red from crying and her face tearstained, but Fei thought she had never looked more beautiful. Her blue orbs were looking straight into Fei’s dark brown eyes. “But, it’s different now.” she said her voice tender. “I can now face my own problems. I am me… and you are you. It has all become clear to me now. I also learned that I really do need you… It‘s not that I need you as a sanctuary for my problems, I need you because I truly love you.”

     Fei didn’t know what to say. She loved him. “Elly…” said Fei in barely a whisper but Elly put up her and to stop him from talking. “I know what you’re saying, Fei. I know why you’re so concerned for my safety… But you know, I’m… scared.” tears started to form in her eyes again. “I fear we may never see each other again… I just have this feeling. Without even thinking, Fei reached out, and pulled Elly to him, holding her tightly. Her arms crept around his shoulders, and he felt her burying her head there.

     “Don’t worry,” Whispered Fei comfortingly, “I won’t die.” Elly tightened her arms around Fei and replied, “It’s not that… it’s something completely different… It’s as if I’m being torn apart by something I cant resist…” her beautiful, soft, angelic voice started shaking, “That I’m no longer me! Even if you come back safely… It still… it just feels so uneasy. That’s why I need to go with you. I can’t bear to be away from you.” Fei held her tighter and she snuggled closer to him. “I feel the same way… Ever since I met you in that forest… I think it’s the same feeling you’ve been having… I was running to you.” Fei’s voice started to shake as well. “But I have to solve my own problems. I can’t throw my problems onto you.” Fei reluctantly pulled away from her and raised his hands in front of him.

     “There is another me,” said Fei looking at the wristband Taura made for him. “Id is within me… I fear that at any moment Id may awaken within me. You were the only one who has been able to keep me from giving in to Id. It was because you were always by my side that I was still able to keep from losing myself.” Fei gazed into her deep blue eyes with so much love and she gazed at him with just as much affection. Neither of them said anything for a moment, then Fei spoke, love evident in every syllable. “I promise you I will return. So… that is… Elly, I want you to be my reason to return… To be my home that I can return to… Elly, if you will wait for me to come back… even if we are in totally different places… As long as you’ll stay by my side… I know I’ll be able to do anything.” Tears poured down Elly’s face, her melted with emotion. She finally managed to choke out, “Oh, Fei…”

     Fei gazed at Elly lovingly and slowly blinked. Elly smiled slightly and closed her eyes. She threw her arms around Fei’s shoulder and moved up closer to his mouth. Fei wrapped his arms around Elly and leaned over to her. Finally their lips met. It started out as a tender kiss but as time stopped, they kissed more deeply and passionately. Fei held Elly tighter, still kissing her, his right hand tangle in the fiery silky depths of her hair. They were lost in a world where there was no war, no Krelian, no Ministry, and no suffering. There was only Fei Fong Wong and Elly Van Houten and for them that is all that mattered. Even though Fei did not tell her, Elly knew how that he loved her just as much as she loved him. And for the first time in what seemed like ages, they were at peace with themselves.


A/N: that scene always touched me. I hope you liked reading it.


~ End ~