I Love You, Fei
By Jonathan Benefiel
Presented by: Xenogears: God and Mind
Warning: intense scenes, at least a couple, but nothing outrightly sexual.
Fei left to get the camera equipment from Doc. Alice finally had confessed her vain feelings even though things could not go smoothly. As she stared at her wedding dress in front of her, she thought about the past.
It was three years ago that man left Fei in Lahanís custody. Citan was assigned to nurse him back to health. Fei seemed very disturbed at the time, always calling out for his father.
There was also the elder that looked over him, as well as Timothy and me; we were about Feiís age. Sometimes my little brother, Dan, would come with me.
"Father . . . !"
"Hey, Citan. Howís the kid doing?"
"He is in stable condition, Timothy. He may snap out of it by tomorrow."
Dan was impatient. He began to tug at my dress. "Sis! Letís go home."
" . . . Timothy? Would you take my brother home?"
"Sure, Alice. Come on, letís go, Dan."
"I wanna go with my Sister! Oh well. Letís go, Tim."
"Iíll go, too," said the village elder. They all went upstairs. Citan and I remained.
"Alice, it is approaching dusk. I think youíd better go on home. I should return to my wife, Yui."
" . . . C-can I stay here, . . . Doctor?"
"Errh . . . ? If that is what you wish. I do not believe it will impede Feiís recovery. (She is acting in a very peculiar matter. . . .! ĎHeí may awaken . . . .)"
"What, . . . Doctor?"
"Huh, errh, nothing. . . ."
Citan ran back upstairs. I approached the bed that which Fei slumbered upon. . .
"Uh, no . . . Father!! Ohhh."
Oh, Fei. . .
He looked so powerful. And yet he suffered. Lying there, helpless.
I can still remember it. His voice and my thoughts. The same words and time. It echoed within my mind.
It was then I realized. I was falling in love with Fei. I then made the involuntary decision to stay the whole night where Fei was sleeping. Just to keep him company.
I whispered in his ear. "F-e-i - - - . . ." said my soft, heavenly Voice that made a listener not sure when I had said and when I had stopped.
". . . !"
"Unnn," said Fei as his leg twitched after I finished my whisper as peaceful as the wind after a squall had just past.
It was a magical and peaceful night, indeed. It began to rain a soft rain that night. It never stopped raining the whole night. I stayed by Fei and never left him. I stayed awake and watched him sleep. It comforted me. Unfortunately, I would hear him yell something in the night, but he wasnít yelling about his father or anything much anymore after I . . . whispered in his ear.
A couple hours later, I finally went to bed, the bed next to him. The next morning I awoke early, though I was kind of tired. I whispered "P s-s-s st." into Feiís ear. He moaned, then opened his eyes. His vision focused and found me looking down at him.
"Ahh!" Fei rolled off his bed!
"U--h, w-who are you?"
"Hi! Iím Alice. Pleased to meet you, Fei."
"Oh, Fei! We thought youíd never wake up! Wait till I tell the other village people. Citan will want to hear about you, too."
"Where are my parents?"
" . . . ? Uh, actually I thought youíd tell us about that."
"What!? Wait a minute. What happened? How the hell did I get here? You said Iím ĎFeií? Damn. I canít remember anything else."
"Oh, Fei. You losícher memory, didnít you?"
"Letís go upstairs, Alice."
We went upstairs. The village chief as well as Timothy and Dan was upstairs.
"Fei," said the V.C. "You are conscious."
"I guess I am."
. . . Feiís so cute . . .
"Why donít you all go to the Doctorís place up the mountain path?" said the village chief.
Fei, Danny, Timothy, and I traveled up the Mountain Path.
Suddenly a couple of hob-gobs attacked us. I was in near-death status after having all my HP absorbed by that monster. Tim didnít do anything. Except he did say, "Dumb broad shouldnít have come with us." Fei carried me out of the battlefield. Fei ran back and surprised all four of us how with so much ease he destroyed those hob-gobs.
I remember Dan calling out to me. "Sis! Sis!!"
Fei carried me up the path as Dan ran up close behind Fei and me. Timothy walked slowly behind us.
"Donít worry," said Feiís comforting voice. "Youíll be all right, Alice. Citan will fix you up as good as new."
"Fei? Are you crying?"
Timothy began to say bad things about me. "Damn. Whyíd we bring her along? Sheís so annoying. The woman belongs in the village."
Dan got mad. "Thatís my sister yer talking about!"
I felt Fei swallow. " . . . ? Fei? Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I donít like how that Timothy treats you, though."
Timothy changed the subject. "Hey, Fei. Whereíd ya learn to do that? You were great back there with your martial arts. Your body must remember that. I wonder what else you are good at . . . ?"
"I guess I studied martial arts with my dad . . . ?"
"Why donít you teach Dan and me your martial arts?"
"Sure, Why not."
We reached the doctorís house.
"Citan," said Dan "is always messing with stuff in the back yard. Letís ask his wife."
Fei carried me inside and laid me on the couch. "Yo, Yui!" said Timothy.
"Hello, dears. Oh Fei! Youíre awake. But it seems that Alice needs my husbandís care now. Heís out back."
Suddenly, Citan walked in. "Ah, Fei. It appears you have awaken. . . . ! Oh dear. Alice does seem to be in injured. Donít worry, Fei. You look more dismayed than the rest. She is no problem."
"He says he canít remember anything," said Tim.
"Oh, dear. Well, it seems your only option is to stay in Lahan. Let me attend to Alice."
A few minutes later, I was up again, though scarred a bit. Yui had made lunch for everyone.
"Sit down, Alice," said Citan. "Here. There is a vacant seat next to Fei."
I flustered. " . . . A-all right."
I sat down. Lunch was kind of awkward. Danny said he found an egg on the Path, so that was our sandwiched lunch.
We talked about Fei and his amnesia. I think Fei was uncomfortable, too. He was remembering something from his past that had to do with me eating. After I took a bite out of my sandwich, Fei kept on turning his head. I blushed below my eyes. Fei saw and he adored.
After lunch, we decided to stick around.
Dan said, "Um, Can I go hang out with Midori?"
Midori smiled. ". . ."
"I donít see why not," said the Doc. "Yui, would you like to clean up the dishes and look after Dan and Midori?"
"Thank you, Yui. Iíll go back to my tinkering."
"Iíll hang with Dan," said Timothy. "What about you, Alice?"
"Iíll hang out with Fei, okay Fei?"
"Uh, sure. Okay."
Citan noticed Fei was eyeing a paintbrush. "Is something wrong, Fei?"
"Doc? Can I borrow your paint set?"
"Of course, Fei."
Fei and I walked outside. He looked out towards Lahan and began to paint.
"Itís beautiful, Fei."
"Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. Must be something else I remember. I enjoy painting."
Fei was finished and as he wondered what to paint next, "Fei? Uh, C-can you paint me?"
"Sure. I think."
"Excuse me." I ran inside and asked Yui if I could borrow a chair. "All right, Alice."
I pulled it outside in front of Fei and sat in it. I smiled a warm smile.
"Okay, here we go."
Suddenly I noticed Fei wasnít painting. "Whatís wrong, Fei?"
"I donít know. Somethingís stopping me."
"You donít have to paint me if you donít want to."
"You want to teach me some Martial Arts?"
Suddenly, Timothy attacked me. "Get out of here, you loathsome rabble. Okay, now that sheís out of the way, come on, Fei!"
Fei was angry. "Timothy. I warn you. Shut the hell up."
". . . ? Fei?"
"Shut up, woman!" Timothy punched me in the stomach.
Fei shouted. ". . . ! . . . ! Stop i--t!!!!!
Citan ran out. "Whatís the problem, Fei?"
". . ."
Citan whispered something about "him" awakening.
"Fei! Stop! Calm down, Fei."
Fei performed a Raijin attack on Timothy, but he was alright. Fei stopped, like his mind was forgetting something, and fainted.
It would turn out that they would both be okay. My feelings for Fei never changed since then. He was mysterious as well as handsome and powerful, struggling against a force even he did not fully understand. It was at times difficult with Timothy around. Especially now when I marry Timothy tomorrow. The three of us were friends even if Timothy gave me a hard time. Yes, if only Fei was born in the village instead of Timothy. . . I . . .
* * *
Alice went out of her daze. "What the hell am I doing?! Itís hopeless!!"
She fell to the floor and wept and cried.
But sound of falling tears was broken by the sound of incoming . . . "giants?"
"Alice," said Timothy. "We gotta go!"
Lahan was in flames. People ran. Gunfire. "Fei! We canít find Dan!"
"Knowing Dan, he is already evacuated and is waiting for you!"
"Timothy," said Citan. "Alice is your responsibility. Get out of Lahan. Fei you help . . ."
Alice and Timothy ran. But gears blocked their paths. Alice thought she saw an auburn-haired, uniformed woman run towards the forest. But this just made her feel many times more hopeless even though she couldnít figure out why. Suddenly she heard Citan from the other side of the village.
"Fei! What are you doing?"
Alice and Timothy heard a Gear stand up. It was Fei. He was fighting off enemy gears!
Suddenly Timothy found there were gears in front of him with guns pointed at him.
"Timothy!" yelled Fei from within the Slayer of God. As Fei stared at the gear in front of him, he thought about past.
Fei saw Timothy get shot by a hail of bullets.
Alice was near and decided to run to Timothy instead of evacuating. "Timothy . . . Oh . . . no."
Meanwhile, Citan and Dan were clear of Lahan, but they noticed the Monster that Fei was in began to destroy Lahan in a huge explosion. "Alice!!" Citan grabbed Dan. "NO--"
Alice knew that she only had a second to live before she was incinerated by the explosion caused by Feiís Gear. Alice looked down at her hands.
I love you, Fei.