Presented by: Xenogears: God and Mind
Judge Judy entered the room, her black robes flowing around her. Before her stood the plaintiff, a pink ball called Chu-chu, and the defendant, a young woman named Elly. The bailiff called out in a loud, clear voice, "The opening case is Chu versus Van Houten."
"Story now!" Was all that Judge Judy said as she pointed her gavel at Chu-chu.
"Chu-chu loves Fei, but Elly loves Fei. So Elly marries Fei and Chu-chu is left alone. Chu-chu wants Fei, but Elly won't give Fei to Chu-chu."
"What's your side of the story miss?" Judge Judy demanded of Elly.
"My side of the story?! There wasn't even a crime committed! I don't even know what I'm being charged with! Marrying some…" However, before she could continue, Judge Judy cut her off.
"You don't know what crime has been committed?! I'll tell you what crime has been committed! You have broken this animal's heart! If that's not a crime I don't know what is!"
Calming herself, Elly attempted to defend herself against the "charges" placed upon her by Judge Judy. "I don't believe there's a law prohibiting marriage. Therefore I don't see why I'm even here or what you intend to do. You can't force me to divorce Fei. That's not within the power of the law."
A vein pulsated on Judge Judy's forehead. The courtroom was silent except for a beating noise that sounded like a heart. Someone swallowed. Judge Judy's voice was quiet, but the anger was poorly masked. "Did you just contradict me? Did you, some lowly peasant girl, contradict me, Judge Judy?! I have my own TV show for God's sake! Where do you come off thinking you're even allowed to talk?!" The vein started beating faster. "I am stunned. Why do you think you understand the law better than me?! I'm a judge for cryin' out loud!"
Elly tried to interrupt but failed. "I don't mean-"
"SILENCE!!! You worm! You continue to bother me! I am this close to ruling for the plaintiff! Do you see this?!" She yelled, holding her fingers an inch apart, "This close!"
At this point, Elly was visibly angry. "It's not my fault that I love Fei and she happens to too. Why would it be more fair if…"
"I'll tell you why it'd be more fair! …Well, actually there's not a legitimate reason, but I'm on a permanent power high, so whatever I say goes! Mwahahaha!" Chu-chu looked triumphant. However her triumph was short lived as Citan proceeded to the defendant's podium. Judge Judy flushed with anger at having her evil plans delayed. "Who do you think you are?! You're disrupting the process of the law!"
"I am Elly's legal defense. She is entitled to a lawyer as stated in the Constitution and I have been admitted to the BAR." Chu-chu's looked terrified at the chance she would lose.
"Citan, what are chu doing? I thought we were friends. If chu help her, I'll never be able to forgive chu!" Citan adjusted his glasses before addressing the annoying ball of fur.
"Actually Chu-chu," Citan said as he adjusted his glasses, "I've always found you rather annoying. In fact everyone did. All you do is make annoying comments about the obvious. Even Bart and Rico have some insight sometimes. Billy came very close to killing you several times, but I always stopped him for some reason. However, that is behind us now and quite frankly, everyone, including Fei and myself, like Elly better than you, so you can go screw yourself." The courtroom was quiet. Chu-chu was a deathly pale, though it was difficult to tell under the fur. Judge Judy was furious that any attention had been given to anything other than her. All of a sudden, her face started to undulate. She began sprouting extra arms and legs. Gigantic claws grew from her hands and feet and sharp fangs grew from her jaw. She started to increase in size and her skin turned an ugly shade of gray. The entire courtroom exited in a panic. Even Elly seemed a little shaken by this unexpected transformation. Citan hardly seemed to notice. "Just as I thought." Elly was perplexed.
"Umm, Citan, do you mind telling me what exactly is happening?"
"Judge Judy is actually a Wel, and a relatively powerful one at that. However, Billy and I thought as much so we came prepared." Judge Judy began flailing her arms. Though many Wels can talk, Judge Judy was simply too stupid in Wel form to attempt communication. Her giant arms caused sections of the ceiling to collapse. A giant load of rubble fell on top of the helpless Chu-chu, burying her under tons of stone and wood. At this point, a loud bang was heard and Judge Judy fell to the ground with a hole in her gigantic head. Elly was amazed. "What the was that? Did you do that Citan?"
"No, that was Billy. He's currently in the building next door. He's using the experimental "anti-Wel" bullets. Apparently they work extremely well." However, the silver lining on the cloud was shattered as Chu-chu emerged from the pile of debris that had imprisoned her. "What was that? Chu-chu's confused. Does this mean Chu-chu won't get to be with Fe-" Her sentence was interrupted though; as another bang was heard, and Chu-chu dropped to the floor, stone dead. As Citan and Elly met Billy at the floor of the neighboring building, they looked suspiciously at Billy and his rifle. Billy maintained a look of innocence. "Why are you looking at me like that? Hey, I've had enough action for one day. How about we go grab a pizza or something?"